Back at Work, Six Months On

Coming back to work as a designer after a long break is hard, but returning after maternity leave can be a seriously daunting experience.

Sleep deprivation, brain fog, and a whole other person’s needs, calendar, and appointments that are now mine. Chuck in trying to remember all the right keyboard shortcuts, and Adobe updating about five times in my absence, and it can be a really challenging time, and very easy to feel overwhelmed.

The first few weeks

Leaving my daughter in the ‘Tiny Travellers’ room at her nursery on the first day, her little hands grip tightly to my top, I manage to prise her tiny fingers away and make my escape while the nursery staff lure her away with a piece of toast. Her crying soon stops. I know she’ll be okay, but it’s still a very unnatural brain state that’s hard to adjust to, leaving her there while I rush off to the office and leave other people to take care of her.

For the past nine months, my life has revolved around feeding, mashing up food, and nap schedules. It’s been all about her, so it feels incredibly jarring to suddenly hand that over to someone I don’t really know and use my brain for something else!

It has also been an extremely refreshing and uplifting time to reconnect with myself, who I was before this and who I am now, and with colleagues, and the lunches out! The little glimmers of hope and that magic feeling when you design something that actually looks kind of okay! I can still do this; it’s all still there. Even the right shortcuts have started to come back, and I haven’t completely forgotten everything I learnt before.

Flexible working – working for everyone

Having an employer who supports you to ease back in gently, without too much pressure, and who offers flexible working is incredibly helpful, though not always the case for everyone. We’re lucky at FutureKings that family has always come first, and whenever someone has something they need to deal with, that is a priority. When I felt ready to I did some keeping in touch days which were spread over a couple of months, so that when I came back, it wasn’t too much of a shock to the system. I now work part-time, three days a week, which gives me time with my kids and helps us to balance work and family life in a sustainable way. We also have the option to come into the office whenever we like, which I usually do once or twice a week to catch up with the team and this hybrid way of working feels like it suits everyone really well.

There might be days when I drop the ball and can’t carry the weight of everyone else’s needs or remember everything, and maybe that’s okay. I’ll always try my best. Some days it feels like there’s already been a whole day’s worth of emotions and meltdowns before we’ve even left the house. Having colleagues who’ve been there, or who simply offer a friendly ear, is a real blessing, and I’m incredibly grateful to them all for being so supportive.

Figuring it out

For anyone returning to work after maternity leave, it helps to go gently. It’s okay if it feels harder than you expected, even if you were really ready to go back. There’s a lot to hold in your head all at once, and it can take time for your confidence, focus, and energy to come back again. None of that means you’re doing anything wrong. It’s all part of adjusting to such a big change.

You don’t have to be exactly who you were before, straight away, or ever. Take things one day at a time, speak up if you need support or flexibility, and lean on others when things feel heavy. Sometimes just knowing you’re not alone can make all the difference.

Six months on

As I write this, I’m now six months back at work and feeling a bit like I never left. It took a few months to get into the new groove, but things soon came back to me, and my confidence is slowly returning, especially when I look at what I’m managing, all while taking care of two small people at the same time. It’s a mad juggle some days, well, most days actually, and as I write this, my son has just been sent home from nursery with a temperature as yet another winter bug descends. Thankfully, modern technology means I’m kept up to date throughout the day with the ‘Famly app’. What they’ve eaten, even nappy changes and photo updates, all help with feeling connected to them in some way, which is more than my parents had, or even parents 10 years ago.

Sending support and solidarity to all the parents reading this, and to anyone who might be on maternity leave or returning to work after a long break. It will soon get a lot easier, and you might actually surprise yourself with how you cope with it all!